Horribly Lovely

A memoir about love and the messiness of being human.

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What's the book about?

Horribly Lovely is a spiritual romantic memoir that explores the truest sense of love, what remains after heartbreak, and the beauty of beginning again and again. Told with raw honesty and poetic intensity, it invites readers to feel every fracture, every fragile hope—and to believe that even the most broken hearts can be redeemed.

Ideal for readers who crave deeply emotional writing, soulful love stories, and romance with psychological depth, this unforgettable novel proves that sometimes the pieces we’re left with are the most beautiful parts of all.

For steely expressers

You love all your feels but have never allowed yourself to just be messy with someone.

For closet romantics

You love love and want vulnerability with all the uncomfortable darkness.

For symbolic seekers

You love the beauty in life and wonder about the meaning of the cover color Amaranth.

Give me the plot

Ben falls in love. He gets married. He has children. And suddenly, he gets divorced. Now, in the quiet space beyond “happily ever after,” Ben must find the courage to face his shame—and rebuild what he destroyed.

THE CAVE

A boy hiding in the shadows of love.

WANTING

The consumptive addiction of love.

WAR IN PEACE

The war inside the guise of loving peace.

THE PINK QUEEN

The cracking found in the mirror of love.

THE LABYRINTH

The surrender of control to feel love.

Some recent press

A puddle of podcast episodes, talking about the realness behind the book.

Being in the messiness

Take our quiz to find out what stage of messiness you're emerging through. After taking the quiz, you can get a copy of our guidebook and even book a time to talk to us more about what you're going through.

Carl Jung was a guide in the process of my writing and alchemy the structure to see the messy beauty in the chaos. Hidden in the form and chapters of this book are seven unique stages that align to our quiz.

To be real with you, I'm not sure who wrote this book. Sometimes the voices were so loud, it felt like a screaming match between spirit and my soul. In each of the seven stages is a deeper part of me expressing the horrible and lovely messiness of being a human being.

TAKE THE QUIZ

Read this disclaimer!

Things in this book will trigger you. It is a raw, honest, graphic, vulnerable, traumatic and visceral story of becoming. There are no cover-ups or adaptations so as to preserve the energic signature of the work. Our online community offers extra content and real people to support your reading experience.

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What others are saying

How you wove the stories together and lay them side by side then stagger stitch them is very very cool. I see myself in Ben. I see myself in everyone. I love Ben. I hate Ben. It's all the feels.

- Rachel

A truly unique, tragic and beautiful story of love and loss. The stories and writing style gripped me from the very beginning. A must read for anyone who has felt the highs and lows of love.

- Colin

It is a pleasure to recommend this book to everyone who has struggled or is struggling with obsessive compulsions related to escaping the gift of this “Horribly Lovely” life.

- Lois

Free with each copy

Buy your copy on Amazon today. In each copy is a code that gives you free lifetime access to our private community where you can get extra content and have back and forth discussions with the author about the messiness of human love.

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A support community

Why do I need to join a community to read it?

We understand the power of words and the impact they can have emotionally when reading something deeply personal and authentic. We created a community to support everyone in digesting the depth of the book and in understanding what might be happening inside of them.

Stories are universal and every chapter of this book has the potential to connect us more deeply with our own psyche. All of us are part of this book, living real life stories collectively. Think of the community as a private book club, alchemical learning guide and emotional support circle all in one.

Here are a few benefits of joining.

Read the book for free, with real time chapter updates
Watch videos explaining each chapter with discovery questions
Connect with others online (by chapter) to share your thoughts
Join monthly small groups to express your story (by chapter)

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Ready to go deeper?

Here are three ways to read the book with three different styles of immersion.

Love

For individuals that bought it on Amazon and want to explore what is coming up in intimate small group Zooms with the author.

Price per month...

$19.99

I'M IN LOVE

Lurk

For individuals that just want to read a chapter or two to see if they like it and aren't sure if they want to engage more deeply.

One-time fee...

$0.99

I JUST WANT TO TRY IT OUT

LET'S LURK

Like

For individuals that bought it on Amazon and want to watch videos about each chapter to feel more support in their reading.

Price per month...

$1.99

I LIKE IT

* To make sure you know there are no strings attached, the Like and Love memberships include a 30 day free trial with no credit card required upfront. Yep, really.

About the author

Jon writes using the Enneagram to express the depth and lived experience of the art of transformation. He aspires to weave together spiritual and psychological narratives that are human, honest and uncomfortable.

Jon is also a design coach, consultant and teacher, helping organizational teams at the brink work in a whole new way. Using the Enneagram, teams unlearn old ways of working by relearning new ways of being.

Within his life, a paradox has existed, two sides always competing and unable to integrate as one. He continues to live into it, facing his own dualistic nature by being unapologetically authentic in how we love one another and ourselves as human beings.

Published with HOPE

Horribly Lovely is published through Melisa Keenan, founder and CEO of Heart Open Publishing Enterprise (HOPE). Rooted in integrity, transparency and community, HOPE exists to help authors create and share their sacred stories with the highest level of care. The HOPE team values the unique healing each author encodes in the deeper words that they alone can convey.

Questions we often get

What is the book rated?

I'd say if it were a movie, it'd likely be R. There are adult themes, sexual content, hard language and drug usage. I'd suggest readers be 17 years of age or older.

What about trauma content?

The content explores various traumatic events and the visual nature of the writing may bring up feelings for those suffering with PTSD or C-PTSD.

What is your refund policy?

We will happily refund your membership within 30 days of renewal or the initial purchase. You can request a refund through our community platform, Circle.

How private is the community?

Everything you share within the community is 100% private to its members. Your information will never be shared or distributed publicly without your consent.

Want to talk instead?

Not quite ready to join the community or buy the book?
That's a-okay. Let's find a time to talk instead.

Not quite ready to join the community or buy the book? That's a-okay. Let's find a time to talk instead.